Once upon a time I used to think there was a right way to adult, that you had to focus on building your future from the outset. That everything you did now was improving then. Turns out I just was just boxing myself into a rather unhappy existence. I'm not going to say I didn't have amazing experiences because I did have some really happy adventures. On the other hand you can't focus on the snippets of time when you were more than happy when in reality you were struggling the rest of the time.
I put myself under a stupid amount of pressure to keep up with the skewed reality I thought I wanted or that would make me happy. I was constantly comparing myself to others & feeling disappointed in my accomplishments. My life hasn't gone to the plan my teenage self set out for me & that made me feel like I wasn't ever doing enough. Turns out the life I was leading wasn't doing anything for my future & being dissatisfied wasn't what I deserved. I had a built a life that wasn't suited to who I really was.
I discovered letting go isn't the worst thing in the world. You aren't a failure for starting afresh, no matter how much you tell yourself you are! That's just the initial fear & worry which will fade. I let go of the life I thought I wanted & that's when I starting enjoying the things I had. I don't need to rush into settling or building a family; I can take things day to day. Turns out once I stop worrying about how well I'm investing in my future my present becomes a much nicer situation.
I gave myself the freedom I always looked for & now I can focus on making memories in the present. My future will fall into place as I progress; it may not look how I imagined but neither does my life now. I'm happy spending my days doing whatever comes to mind. Sometimes you just have to focus on making memories; may that be travelling the world or dancing around the kitchen with the one you love.
All photos taken at Three cliffs bay via Pennard Carpark
Shelley xx
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