I was going to make a post solely on my social media experience and the harsh realities but I may touch upon that at a later date. For now I wanted to have a mini rant about why I've changed my patterns. Have I really given myself a break or is my version of a "break" totally pointless in reality??
I've been the most sporadic blogger this past year and I could make a million excuses but the reality is, I put myself under so much pressure; my blog takes a back seat. I still can't decide if I want this to become more of a hobby or if I want to just enjoy writing and expressing myself on a more professional format than tumblr. I used to invest a lot of effort into this and to some extent I still do but I'm also taking a relaxed approach too. I want to enjoy the process and get back to the excited blogger I once was.
But I also need to get back to the person I once was, when I was content and enjoying my days. Not fretting over my health or other people vindictive views of me. It's hard to separate yourself from all the rubbish and drama in your life but trust me give it a year or two and the same old stuff goes straight over your head. It truly does, or maybe I've grown up and got a life where I can't invest time in petty problems. I want to invest in my future and enjoy my present. I need to enjoy college and relax in to it, rather than working myself up over squabbles or stress. I need to get my routine down so I don't keep getting ill by over-working myself. I need to do a lot of me time.
I would love to go back to before when I was taking day trips to fun places. Just enjoying nature and keeping myself sane. In the past month I've made a lot of changes towards my mental health and I'm adapting slowly so I think I need those days out to pull myself back to reality. Just enjoy and realise my life is pretty much insignificant when you truly think about it. I'm one in a billion people just getting through life how I can. My life affects me and the people in my life only. Throw in a few outsiders who spend to much time invested in mine rather than theirs but we can't all have smooth journeys.
Time to de-stress and stop worrying about: social media, people's skewed opinions of me, lost friends and those daily stresses I create for myself. Time to start focusing on all the good things and people who are still in my life and who make it amazing each step of the way!!!
Shelley xx
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