I've never attempted to make this post; even though I know more than most what it's like dealing with negative interfering people on a daily basis. I've spent years online dealing with trolls, they've commented on my looks, my weight, my relationship & so much more. I've also dealt with broken friendships that have turned from nice to ugly in a short space of time. The worst of it all is dealing with people who were never quite in your life, they may have mutually known people or had similar experiences but they constantly feel the need to comment on your life. It's an odd occurrence because to most it makes no sense, you can understand animosity & judgement to a certain point but it comes to a stage where it starts to become unnecessary.
It's safe to say I've dealt with this on & off for years, It's sort of second nature now. I have to admit at first it was rather annoying & affected me somewhat but you get to a stage where it becomes normal. I don't see how that behaviour can be deemed normal, It's not. It's weird, obsessive & rather rude. Some people can't get over certain things and it stays with them, I guess that's the reason. I've had social media posts about me judging every aspect of my personality. It gets rather comical to imagine a group of people being so focused on someone who doesn't actually enter their life. I'm not really interested in people out of my inner circle; I've found people who know me & enjoy my company as I do them. That's all I need. Those few people who I love. Other people's opinions don't come into it. I guess I am so used to being scrutinised by outsiders that even the weirdest doesn't phase me.
Is that really a good thing though? That I've been desensitised by a group of people who don't really know me? Is it really healthy or normal? I'm not quite sure. All I know is that no matter who comments on my life the only people who matter, are the people directly involved & myself. I don't feel it necessary to judge strangers decisions or lifestyles & don't see why mine are important to outsiders. Maybe we all need to let go of our animosities and just focus on who we are. If you think about it, does it really reflect well on you judging someone repeatedly that has never really been in your life? I don't think it shows a good side of your personality. I don't think it really does what you mean it to. If It's not affecting me or really reflecting well on yourself, who's it benefiting?
I've made mistakes, I've made bad decisions, I've done things I regret but those are mine. Mine to deal with, mine to reflect on. The only person who has to judge me is me. I'm happy with who I am, if your not then that's okay. You don't have to like me, but understand that it doesn't matter to me. It shouldn't really matter that much to you either.
Shelley xx
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